Okay ladies! What’s holding you back. YOU know that your life is not all that you want it to be but you have convinced yourself that it’s okay. It’s not okay. It’s actually very sad. Yes, I said sad. I’m sad for you because I know why you are doing it. I did it too. I settled and kept convincing myself that it was okay for me to go through my life after 50 on rote, living day to day with no purpose or passion. I now know why I did it. It’s the same reason you are doing it.
For me, it was safer and less risky to accept things as they were. Rocking the boat would require that I step out of my very comfortable cocoon and do something. It required that I have confidence and strength and to be honest, I had neither. I looked as if I was the most confident person walking the earth. But, I was one scared sister. I was afraid that I would not be able to accomplish any goals (if I dare have them). I knew in my heart that I was certain to fail. I was also afraid of taking any more risks. I had already had a business to fail and leave me with a six-figure debt. I had already had to go through the humiliation of admitting that I was unable to save my business from going under.
Someone very close to me said to me one day, “don’t you think it’s time to get over it?” She was right and for the most part, I have. But every now and then that little nasty, pesky voice in my head reminds me that you better be “careful”. As they say, “the struggle is real”. Yes, it is, but I will not, cannot be defeated. I have too much to lose and so do you.
Now it’s my turn to say to you, “get over what is holding you back”. It is time for you to re-invent YOU professionally, personally and spiritually. Let’s explore how to begin this process.
I am a trainer, not just professionally but also by nature. I like to teach. I like breaking things down in doable steps so that whoever I am teaching knows exactly what to do to accomplish a task. The steps to re-invent are very clear and simple. I speak about them, wrote a book about them, live by them. They’re simple but if you don’t do the work (as in anything) re-invention can be the hardest task you have ever attempted. Here it is, plain and simple:
Know Who You Are – Stop fronting! Stop pretending that you have it all together when you know you don’t. Be honest with you and get to the core of who’s looking back at you in the mirror. She is not perfect but she has some awesome qualities that have gotten lost in this thing called living. Explore who she is right NOW, not 20 years ago. Take an inventory of her talents, her experiences, her hurts and pains, her successes and victories, her loses and gains, all of it. She is you in all your 50Something glory.
Know What You Want – It’s easy to settle in life. It’s comfortable, takes less effort and it is safe. BUT is it what you want. Is what you are doing at this moment giving you any joy, making your life happy? You have already lived over half of your life. What do you want the second half to look like? I can’t answer that for you. Only you know. Are you willing to do what it takes to achieve it?
First, list all the things you really, really, really would like to do or be. Don’t let money or time determine the list. Just write. It can be as ridiculous as you want it to be (you’re the only one who’s going to see this list). Think about your career (or lack thereof, especially is you’ve recently been downsized or laid-off). Think about your relationships, your personal time, your spiritual growth, your health… Are there changes you want to make in any of these areas? Write them down NOW.
Know How You Are Going to Get What You Want – This is the trickiest step. Here’s where that whole comfort thing comes into play. Here’s where the work begins. Now that you know what you want, how are you going to get it and when? This is called goal setting. If you’ve read my book or heard me speak, you will know this is my favorite sayings – “A goal without a timeline or date is just a wish.”
Look at the list you created and then prioritize it in the order of most to least urgent. What do you want to change the most? That doesn’t mean it’s something that will change immediately, it is the thing that will give your life the most meaning in the near future or 3-5 years from now.
Once you have your list prioritized, put a completion date next to each item. When do you want this thing to happen in your life? Again, don’t let time or money be the influencer. If there are things on your list that you know are going to require a financial investment on your part, go do some research and find out how much. Stop guessing. Get the facts. For example, if one of your life goals is to travel to exotic places, go find out what that trip will cost you. If there are things on your list that require a time or personal commitment, start those immediately. For example, if you want to lose weight, stop talking about it and go do it. Don’t put a future date for starting this process, start it now.
Your list should look something like this:
Thing I want to do| When I want to do it| How much it costs| Steps needed to do it
Make a Commitment to Re-Invent – I said re-invention was simple. but it can be hard and challenging. The hardest part is getting your mind ready to change. Whenever you strive to accomplish anything there will be those little pest we call obstacles. Excuses, doubts (or as I call them “negative roommates living in your head”), lack of money (real or perceived), lack of time (perceived), obstructions (mostly real), lack of confidence (real), lack of self-esteem (real)… All the things and thoughts that get in the way of re-inventing your life. There is only one force that can fight all this “stuff” and that is YOU. You have it within you to make sure everything on your list that you truly want to change or accomplish will happen. If you don’t feel confident, read books, go to conferences, or work with a coach (that’s me, she said smiling). Whatever you need to do to make sure you get the life you want and deserve.
It's time to re-invent. If not now, when?
If you would like to chat about your re-invention, schedule a complimentary discovery call with me and we will discuss your best path to re-invention. Go to http://meetme.so/CherylGarrison to schedule your call.